I wonder if stupid hope is mostly a female thing. What do I mean by stupid hope? You know...when deep inside you know something or someone is one thing because it's been shoved down your throat in bad ways more times than you care to count, but you still hold out the stupid hope that THIS TIME (and usually this is NOT the first time you have this hope) the something or person will be different. Even though you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's been no change at all, you still desperately grasp onto that hope as if it were a life jacket and you're afloat in the middle of the ocean. Is it a woman thing? An idiot thing? A believing in the best of everyone thing?
I'm in such a situation...with a twist. I absolutely know the "same old" patterns, words, entreaties, excuses, orders, etc. I know them by heart. I've changed though. I have a tiny hope that change has occurred, but I don't really care this time. That's actually a really comfortable position to be in. When you know somebody's game and can play it right back at him/her without allowing him/her to have all the power s/he used to have, it's absolutely incredible.
That's really what the heart of the issue is, I think....allowing somebody to have power over you. Allowing a DISHONEST and game-playing somebody have power over you!! It is absolutely foolish, demoralizing, and tortuous to give anyone that kind of control. I know most people would tell you to get rid of such a person in your life, but I also know that talk is cheap and easy. For whatever reason, sometimes you have to have this person in your life. I'm not questioning your motives because, believe me, I have my own, but I WILL tell you to grab back the reigns. If it's important to have this person/people in your life, then play their game right back at them. Whatever they do or say to you, do the same - doubly - back at them.
I'm sure a lot of people will tell me how wrong this is, but honestly I'm telling you exactly what I wish I would have been told long ago. Take back that power and control but let them think they still have it all...I promise you it will change your life, your feelings and emotions, and your perspective.
Be in control and show up all game players in your life with their same game!